I Ask You Nine Questions
i have a lot of questions, as most people do. so..i'm going to list them below, and anyone who wants to answer one, go right ahead, if you answer correctly (the way i'd want the question answered that is, haha, NO FREE THINKERS IN THIS BLOG), then i will publish your name and prize in a future blog post and you will recieve your gift.
the questions...
1) do girls fart?
2) how would i go about getting a nun pregnant?
3) would she have an abortion?
4) how would i turn that into a good dead baby joke?
5) why do i have an erection when i wake up?
6) if i licked my index finger, then rubbed my nipple with it through my shirt, would that turn you on? why not?
7) why do some many budding journalist at the voice have no clue who hunter s. thompson was and why his suicide was a notable happening this year?
8) megan, where's my jandek record??
9) knock knock??
posted by Brad Detherage @ 11:32 PM
3 Comments:
the radio station i listen to at work just played bright eyes, and it made me think of you and that one time you came here to see bright eyes and we waited around outside jesse after the show and then we got to meet conor and he was like, "so what are you doing now?" and we were like, "oh, um..." and he was like, "because maybe you could come hang out with me for a while. i'm lonely." and we were like, "ok, conor, i suppose we could do that, but only if you bring your guitar." and then he came over, and we drank a lot in my apartment, and he played his guitar, and you played my guitar, and then i played the two chords i can actually handle, but it didn't matter because conor was already totally in love with us, and now he's going to devote his entire next album to how we broke his heart when we told him we couldn't go on tour with him.
ah, that's a good memory.
it's snowing now. i love it. at 4 a.m. i'm going out to make naked snow angels outside my apartment.
me again. i decided i want to answer your questions, since one of them was directed at me.
1) do girls fart?
oh, yes. i've actually seen it happen. twice!
2) how would i go about getting a nun pregnant?
bradley, is it time to have the sex talk?
3) would she have an abortion?
not too likely. i'd tell her to go with the immaculate conception excuse. it worked for that other slut.
4) how would i turn that into a good dead baby joke?
um, a coat-hanger abortion would make the baby even holier...
5) why do i have an erection when i wake up?
better question: when does that go away? because i'd never be late to work if guys weren't so damn horny in the morning.
6) if i licked my index finger, then rubbed my nipple with it through my shirt, would that turn you on? why not?
i like how you assume it wouldn't. but i think it has to do with the fact that you're, oh, 12.
7) why do some many budding journalist at the voice have no clue who hunter s. thompson was and why his suicide was a notable happening this year?
i won't address your grammar here. but i don't think hst is really known at all among the younger generation. that's pretty sad.
8) megan, where's my jandek record??
it's on the way. or it will be soon. along with other special musical prizes. monkeys and pickups, and some happy christian music. because you know how much i love jesus!
9) knock knock??
my door's always open. smart people don't bother knocking.
1]naturally.
2]first, i would say you'd have to get her drunk, but then nuns dont drink, so you're forced to poison her COMMUNION cup. then give her a go...
3]she wouldn't know she was pregnant, she'd probably think she was gaining weight and then one day POP out comes a crying baby.
4]tell her she's the new mary.
5]because you were dreaming about boys
6]no, nor would it ever if any human being would do that on earth.
7]because no one reads anymore.
8]did you check the blinds?
9]i dont answer the door. have you ever seen high tension? that'll explain it...
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