Journals of an American Dollar

Hollywood's Dying Naked Series Part I

2006-04-14T12:08:00.000-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, That Thing That Works At DQ in Litchfield, time for a special treat. In light of Cory "Mr. Hollywood" Beiermann leaving for what I know to be sure death on June 7th, I'm starting a series of blog posts entitled 'Hollywood's Dying Naked'. In each episode of the series, we will have a new picture of the beloved one, a memory, and a caption. Today marks the series premeire. Please, enjoy the following.

Episode #1 - What a Genitally-Man

For the first installment of of series, we have this cute picture of charming Hollywood discovering himself for the fourth time that evening. Aww...

Be sure to tune next time for another riveting episode of, 'Hollywood's Dying Naked'.

Prom is for Pretty People and Sometimes Me

2006-04-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

In light of another school year coming to an end, prom season is among us. Most readers of this blog (i'm assuming) have far surpassed their highschool years. But, I haven't. Though homeschooled, I still have the oppurtunity to attend a public school prom. And this year, I will be attending three. Two real, One fake, One cheap, One costly, One drunk.

Prom One
Where - Lincolnwood
Date - Cory Beiermann A.K.A Mr. Hollywood A.K.A. He has an 8-inch penis
When - April 22nd
Wearing - Cheap N' Trashy Suit a Cheap N' Trashy Thrift Store, or maybe the slightly more upscale resale shop "Sojourn's"
Why - To hold Hollywood's hand and further spread the rumor at Lincolnwood that I am gay

Prom Two
Where - Rochester
Date - My Lady Emily Carlson A.K.A Jailbird A.K.A. Joy
When - May 6th
Wearing - Some Tux That Matches Emily's super-awesome-jaw-dropping dress
Why - Because I have to...and want to...of course...yeah...seriously...it'll be great...yeah

Prom Three
Where - Ray's Apartment
Date - Emily and every drunk sad bastard there
When - After Rochester's sometime
Wearing - First, same suit from Lincolnwood's and then, still that suit but no pants
Why - It's a mock prom where we have an excuse to put beer in a punch bowl and make a reservation for a party of 10-15 at Denny's

What's your best prom memory?

The Hills Have Eyes, Even on the East Side

2006-03-25T00:26:00.000-06:00

tonight, i braved the likely hood of the remake of hills have eyes hack-job of wes craven's original, and went to see the film. being on the east side of springfield for the late show on a friday night added to the derangement. besides, the only person with me was Emily from the voice and she's been known to pass out from too much fright, so i was in this alone. surprisingly the film held fairly true to craven's piece. all the same characters died in the same order in the same way, that alone filled me with satisfaction. the ending dragged it's feet for awhiling longer than it should have but, all in all, not disappointing, plus, unlike the amityville horror remake, there aren't countless shots of abs and clevage, so it didn't seem like a gap commercial. if anyone else has seen this movie and would like to refute my opinions, gladly do so in my comment box. leave it, niggar!!

"The Door In The Floor" was released in 2000-FOUR!!!

2006-03-10T02:16:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I've been away for awhile. What have I accomplished in my break from blogging? What do I have to show for this month long hiatus? The answer is...little. Dissapointed? Thought I'd have some stories? Don't get so worked up you few people whose lives this blog effects.

Things I have been up to though...a little "Anarchy".
My dear (rumored bisexual) friend Chris Ray has begun the production stage of his debut short film, Anarchy. In which I play one half the pair of "vulture fuck" team, Roy and Angus, me being the latter. To read more about this film and see some candid photos taken during filming this past weeked, walk your virtual ass over to www.trackpost.blogspot.com . Check back there periodically to read progess in the form of blog written by writer director Christopher Ray. And please, tell him he's beautiful, he has started to cry a lot lately.

Meanwhile, I watched The Weatherman yesterday for the second time. The first time was at the theater with my aforementioned buddy Ray. Yesterday was in the confines of my own home. The only difference from watching it recently to when it came out was that, it seemed much less comedic and much more depressing for anyone with a reserved amount of ambition they are relying on for getting them away from their current posistion on the map. Either way, watch it. Abe Lincoln fucks a dutch chick!! Or maybe she's swedish. Foreign Boob!!

I also just finished The Door in the Floor. Bridge's character is lovable in the way that when he acts mad in the movie, he only seems like a chubby alcoholic 8 year old pretending to flair his nostrils and puff out his chest so he can get more chocolate. And Basinger's (???) character is much more fucking tragic than the viewer will probably be ready for. Also, Elle Fanning is much cuter than her sister Dakota. Rock On Elle. Rock. F-ing. On.

Not too long ago I began my training to become a part-time host at work. Which translates into dressing nicer and waking up earlier. Instead of arriving at 4PM during the week, I arrive at 5:45AM and leave around 1:30PM. Which is cool...I guess. I get more hours now though, more CHEDDAR CHEDDAR!!

I promise I might never stop blogging for a month again. I feel I could be losing loyal fans and AmericanDollar will soon be reduced to nothing. Have Faith.

I Got An Office

2006-01-30T23:20:00.000-06:00

This is my office.

After every night shift at the old Best Western I complete, I ususally log in any where from 30 minutes to an hour of overtime in my office, before offically going off the clock. Ususally reading such things from Chuck Klosterman, Spin Magazines, or the SJ-R. Sitting at my desk (pants down) is such a delight after a monotous 6-hour shift. And the blueberry muffins I borrow from the cook's fridge after they have left for the evening are undoubtedly the most delicious pastery in the whole hotel.

Does ripping of a hotel chain for an extra hour of pay by sitting on a toliet for reading make me an unhonest person?

Don't Know What I Got

2006-01-28T15:51:00.000-06:00

I'm off to work, la da di DA! But, before I go, I will not leave you empty eyed. I don't know what I got to offer, lemme look around a bit...

Ahh Yes, Splendid. Enjoy!

I Dream Of Chuck

2006-01-23T23:12:00.000-06:00

I guess, since this post is about a dream I had and Chuck Klosterman was in it, I should have put a picture of him rather than one of his autographs to the right. But, this made me laugh...now I'll continue.

Earlier this evening when I was sitting in the handicap restroom stale at Best Western after work (soaking up an extra hour before clocking out) I was reading Fargo Rock City. After a couple pages, I remembered a dream I had last night.

In this dream, the yearly festival of Ireland (Irish Days) was going on uptown Farmersville. I remember I was drinking a beer and walked past a group of guys hanging out under the pavilion listening to loud dance music. I noticed one of them was Chuck Klosterman. So, I walked up to the group and starting dancing. Chuck laughed and backed away and then started a little shoulder bump dancing of his own. I shook my hand at him and did one of those ass things the girls do in the rap videos and started to chase Chuck around with my buttox. By the time the chase ended Chuck and I next to a bench where a mother and her baby were sitting. Then, Chuck starts breaking dancing with two lit sparklers in his hands, I was amazed by the constant rotation of body and sparklers. Then, midway through his dance, the sparklers explode and killed the baby.

(space missing)

I walked past a guilt-heavy Chuck later and said to him in a state of sheer hysteria ( i remember this word for word), "Hey Chuck, that would have been a great dance if you wouldn't have blown that baby up."

What Does This Mean?!?!

Stroked Me The Wrong Way

2006-01-21T23:57:00.000-06:00

So, I guess Julian can't sing any more. I just watch their performance on SNL. They played their first single of First Impressions, "Juicebox", and then the (in my opinion) the best song from the album, "You Only Live Once". I will say though, "Juicebox" is hard to sing, I've tried, I still do, and it's difficult. But, Julian just seemed to lack his normal gusto on the mic. The whole thing in fact just didn't seem very stroky. I was dissappointed. Hopefully the St.Louis show in April doesn't resemble that. If it does, I'll throw my boots at the band!! My Boots!!!

Flick-R-Fun-Fun

2006-01-19T14:58:00.000-06:00

today, i made my first "flickr" account. you can go there and see pictures i have taken and that have been taken of me. maybe YOU will be in some of them, yeah, probably so. check in there from time to time and leave me comments so i know i'm loved.

www.flickr.com/people/learn-to-dance

SALSA!!

First Anniversary

2006-01-19T05:50:00.000-06:00

February 21st is only a little over a month away. While it is probably too early for me to be mentioning this, it is too late for me to still be awake, so I'll propose anyway. This February 21st (and hopefully all following ones) I will be watching "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", while rum drunk. I'm not sure if any other Thompson disciples have similar plans, but I just wanted to throw out the reminder to anybody whose somebody that makes up everybody. Drink Hard.

Tussels In Bussels

2006-01-11T00:05:00.000-06:00

I didn't know The Hives had a DVD out. I saw it at best buy, $12.99, I bounced. It's good for two reasons. Reasons one; over half of it is concert footage, and as we all know (all that are cool enough to have atteneded a hives show), their stageshow is hot! Reason two; the 30 minute documentry is weird and obscure and very uninformative and extrememly fun to watch once. It has no interviews and it has little background info on the band besides the fact that since their very early shows when they were still in high school, they were still quite the cocky fuckers. But, I wonder how much of what the director (D W Johnson) says is actually true.

Whatever. If you can find the DVD for 13 bucks or less, buy it. If not, put it in your pocket and run out the door.

"Fuck The Police"

2006-01-04T00:09:00.000-06:00

the police stopped to have a conversation (kind of) with me tonight as i was walking around town listening to the new strokes album for an upcoming review. the following is the story as i e-mailed it to fellow voice staffer, Cassandra Novy, of New Berlin, so don't mind any inside information that you don't understand.

so i'm walking along, dancing (as you've seen me do), when one sheriff's car dives in front of me to block my way. i rip my headphones off just as i notice another set of lights behind me, i yank my head 180 degrees and another sheriff's car does the same as the first behind me. the first cop jumps out of the car jogs until she is about 25 feet from me, with her gun in her hand and out but not pointing at me. the second cop has his hand on his gun as he is jogging toward me and he yells, "Stay Still Sir!!". i instantly freeze. he walks closer. closer. closer. i'm thinking, "Oh Fuck, He's Going To Throw Me To The Sidewalk!" i'm not too worried about why these cops are stopping me or the fact that i don't have any i.d. on me, i'm only concerned about how much it's going to hurt when my body hits the concrete. damn is this going to hurt. luckily, this obvious intelligent police officer asks me what my name is before really making physical contact with me. i let out a half yell/quarter squawk/quarter mumbled "Brad Detherage!?!" for a few seconds, i was wondering, "wait, am i brad detherage? if i was, these cops wouldn't be preparing to cap my sorry white ass. what the hell is my name?" instantly, after they heard me say, "Brad Detherage," the previous excitement they had had just shit itself and suddenly looked just as confused as i had been. "Well, what's your mother's name." the second copped asked me practically scratching his head. "Kathy. Kathy Detherage." by this time, both cops are in a completely relaxed posistion, guns in their holsters (where the fucking things should be). i explained to them i was listening to the strokes new album because i had to write a review for it. cop #2 said he could hear it when he got out of the car. then i told him how friend, austin ray, had told me to listen to records on headphones at least once so you can hear the subtle noises or voices in the back that you wouldn't normally be able to hear at a casual volume through speakers. halfway through telling this to the police officers they both had apologized and walked back to their cars. then, i continue walking home and about one block from my house, i see both the cops pulling the same gig on some people sitting at the laundry mat uptown. whew!!

Won't You Stuff My Stocking???

2005-12-24T21:21:00.000-06:00

Another X-mas is upon us. Another gathering at the Springfield Hooters from 9PM to 10PM X-mas night is also upon us. Won't you stuff my stocking?

But, I recieved some news today that was not so X-masy, unfortunately. The following is an e-mail I recieved today from the editor of Rockpile Magazine.

---
Date:
Sat, 24 Dec 2005 13:54:24 -0500
Subject:
Re: My Proposal, My Writing Samples
From:
"Mike McKee" Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
"Mr. Kick Ass"

hey brad thanks a lot for your interest and for sending along your clips. very nice approach by the way--who can resist the drunken daft punk request at the end of the night, haha?at any rate, i really liked some of what i read in your clips: you avoid a lot of the overused buzz words that are just static to readers now, you also do a good job of denying yourself hyperbole, which is crucial i think to decent writing about music/entertainment. technically and grammarwise, your clips seemed to be solid as well.at the moment, we're not really looking for new writers. in fact, we're trying to winnow most things down to a more consistent, regular core of staff writers. however, things always change, so i'd be more than happy to keep in touch with you.meanwhile, feel free to send us along any stories or pitches you think we might be interested in publishing.thanks again for getting in touch, and good luck!
mike mckee
editor
---

some what dissappointing, but whatever. I'll just badger him with weekly samples until he gives in decides to take me in. Until that day, I'll be submitting to prefix and pop matters.

Tuesday, my 150 words on the doctor will be published in the voice. You can read it online then at www.sj-r.com/voice

We will be opening gifts soon so I must meditate. Schlap!!

I'm a Blood Giver

2005-12-22T13:59:00.000-06:00

Chris Hires - Tits Not A Party w/o You

Today, I may go give blood, may not. I've been planning to but, I don't want to go alone, so if someone goes with, I'll be King Blood Giver. If not, I'll just cut my wrist at the park.

I submitted four writing samples to Mike at rockpile on Monday. Au$10 said he'll probably never talk to me, so I am suppose to badger him with weekly e-mails. Will do... If rockpile turns me down I'm going to check out prefix, popmatters, and possibly aversion.

I got my Illinois 2005 Form IL-1040. Which can mean several I suppose, but I think it means tax return time. Other than that, it'll make nice toliet paper, then fire starter.

I Walked The Line Again

2005-12-15T21:22:00.000-06:00

Johnny Cash - The Legend Of Johnny Cash

I went and saw Walk The Line for the second time tonight. Rarely do I go see a movie twice in the theater. Coincidently, after the movie was over, I bought my first Johnny Cash CD. It's a best of, the only one I could find. Is this the start of Brad listening to country music? I said it'd never happen but, then again, country isn't a far cry from all the folk I already listen to. Have any suggestions for any good country albums I should by???

Suffocating Laughs Are Hard To Come By

2005-12-14T23:01:00.000-06:00

The Decemberists - Castaways and Cutouts

You know the kind of laughs that make you stop breathing? Aren't they great? Agree!

I think, during the winter, the best way to find them is by driving around with a few friends in a chevy caprice and hitting snow piles at a respectable speed. Ahh, and that's exactly what I did tonight. It's a great thing that small towns have such a lack of law enforcement.

I'm almost ashamed to say this but, fellow bloggers, I have been seeing someone else. Don't worry, I ended it before it got too serious. I had a rough week long affair with Myspace.Com. After much thought, I concluded Myspace.Com just doesn't offer what Blogger.Com does. I have, just recently, terminated my Myspace.Com account and no longer have any association with it. Forgive Me?

Also, I'm going to add a new feature to all my posts. I will list what music I am listening to at the top of the page. I'm sure other people do this as well.

Megan, Where's Jandek???

Since I don't think my computer is going to be ready today or tomorrow, I've been writing new reviews to send to Mike at Rockpile. Hopefully he'll like them and decide to publish my reviews from then on and send me free stuff. There's other places I plan to submit too. But, I'm going to go one at a time to see if I can handle writing for more than two publications.

After a little convincing, my editor at The Voice agreed to give me 150 words for Hunter S. Thompson to be published in the end-of-the-year issue. I was able to edit it down to about 300 words. I'm sure she'll touch it up and then give it to her editor, Erin, and Erin will shit on it but, whatever. Read It Here, Shit-Free.

- - -
- - -
At the conclusion of every year we see so many new faces in the media, rising actors turning into big screen celebrities, aspiring musicians turning into rock n’ roll icons, and first year professional athletes turning into the big game champions. But, such year-end highlights can never shine brighter than the afterglow of those whose gleaming lambencies have burnt out, never to burn again.

Original Gonzo journalist, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, committed suicide this pass February at his home, Owl Farm, in Woody Creek, Colorado. Having survived 67 years till then, the doctor had reaped a reputation for looking at alcohol and drugs with big eyes and writing his books and articles with highbrow wit. Thompson inhaled words and exhaled his literary craft onto the pages of such books as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hell’s Angels, and Fear and Loathing: On The Campaign Trail ’72.

Thompson had a lively love for firearms, constantly shooting guns at his home. Using a .45 caliber pistol, on February 20th, 2005, Thompson took his life. According to the sheriff’s report when Thompson’s body was found, he was sitting in a chair located in the kitchen of his home, with a typewriter before him, which contained a solo piece of paper that held the word “counselor” in the center.

The following is a note Hunter had written in black marker for his wife, Anita, days before his suicide. He had titled it, “Football Season Is Over.”

"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax this won't hurt."

WINNER!!

2005-12-08T20:14:00.001-06:00

after much deliberation over all the people's answers that were left in the comment box yesterday, i have picked a winner.

with much gratitude and honor i would like to congradulate the clark on her correct answer for questions number four.

since you did mention the words "coat hanger abortion" (which was also the answer for questions 1 through 3 and 5 through 9), you have won pride. be proud that you are above everybody else in this world because now, you have been rewarded just that. pride is not something you feel when you help an old lady cross a street (which i've never ever seen any do), it's a simple material possession which can be acquired very easily and cheaply.

clark...congrats.

WINNER!!

2005-12-08T20:14:00.000-06:00

I Ask You Nine Questions

2005-12-07T23:32:00.000-06:00

i have a lot of questions, as most people do. so..i'm going to list them below, and anyone who wants to answer one, go right ahead, if you answer correctly (the way i'd want the question answered that is, haha, NO FREE THINKERS IN THIS BLOG), then i will publish your name and prize in a future blog post and you will recieve your gift.

the questions...

1) do girls fart?
2) how would i go about getting a nun pregnant?
3) would she have an abortion?
4) how would i turn that into a good dead baby joke?
5) why do i have an erection when i wake up?
6) if i licked my index finger, then rubbed my nipple with it through my shirt, would that turn you on? why not?
7) why do some many budding journalist at the voice have no clue who hunter s. thompson was and why his suicide was a notable happening this year?
8) megan, where's my jandek record??
9) knock knock??

Corwood Replies

2005-11-28T14:12:00.001-06:00

i got a reply letter from corwood industries a moment ago. in the letter i sent i basically (over the length of a page) asked to trade his emotion for one of my emotions. i didn't know how i would do that or anything, but i thought it'd be cool if it could happen. anyway, corwood's return address was stamped on the envelope and my address was handwritten from what looks like jandek's handwriting, and on the letter, it's handwritten, "Sorry, we don't Trade." then on the other side is simple a typed listing of all of jandeks albums and at the bottom it has prices and details.

cool i got a reply, too bad it's not what i wanted. i can get twenty jandek records for 80 dollars.

Chicky Chicky Check Up...Chicky Chicky

2005-11-18T11:31:00.000-06:00

ok, i totally just woke an entire page about the bright eyes show, but i was so rushed, i deleted it cause it was horrible and boring. i make another one soon.

Galactic Fantactic

2005-11-05T23:26:00.000-06:00

well, not exactly. i'd been listening to them for about a month before i saw the show. i wasn't going to go but darren was already going so i decided to tag alone. but since they didn't have a vocalist that night, and they played for an hour and a half, took a 30 minute break, and then played another hour, and then did another 30 to 45 minute encore, it was a total jam band vibe going around. ugh, not that they are bad muscians, just that it felt repetive and dragged on. the best parts were when the opening rapper and dj (mc no-one and dj something) joined galactic and did a blues kinda electronic rap thing. but, still didn't take my blues away. speaking of being blue...

bright eyes next weekend will surely make up for the unfortunate event that was galatic. i've been listening to a few unreleased (well, previously unreleased, otherwise i wouldn't have them) tracks. the songs true blue, whiskey from a well, i woke up with this song in my head this morning, cremation, and burn rubber. i don't think he wrote burn rubber though. i'll have to check the cd booklet. all are good, but my fav was true blue.

i have been bad with my CoMo money. i had 70 and am down to 40. my next check should be 90 though, so if i use all that i'll have enough. yeah...but would anyone like to make donations to the "Brad is Fucking Poor" fund? if so, contact me through the comment box.

The Docter Has Been Duked

2005-10-28T05:53:00.000-05:00

the band avenged sevenfold has a video on mtv for their song "bat country". in this video they are driving through the desert in a tank of a red car with bats flying through the air attacking them and then they get to las vegas where they go into a hotel and some of the girls have long lizard tounges and other people have big fish heads and various amphibian body parts and then they get into their room and are having a big party with all kinds of weird creatures like a yellow octopus coming out of the drain of the bathtub and then all these bats fly off the wall leaving the design of some tacky 70s wallpaper (a design very similar if not identical to the wallpaper in Hunter's room in terry gilliams's fear and loathing in you know where).

AU$10, look into this. does avenged sevenfold own rights to something or are they just blatantly ripping off? download the video or something (use a little paste technology i guess) and get back to me. even the song title is a straight exert from the book.

Seventeen

2005-10-27T05:08:00.000-05:00

i am 17. i am 17. what can i do now that i am 17. are you 17? what do you do? curfew? sex with not contracts? what else? i am 17.

I Love My Hate Mail

2005-10-27T04:19:00.000-05:00

i got my first 'hate mail' for something i wrote in the voice not too long ago. well, i didn't get it. i read it in the voice, it was published. first off, i wrote this lede/fluff/completely pointless and unnessacary/really fun/better than everyone else's columns about fashion and the metaphors that stand for their boyfriends sexing their best friends on prom night/...i lost my point.

so i saw this picture in a paste magazine (word to the motherfucking!! AU$10) of some guy in a car and it inspired my to write this piece about, ideally, what a muscian would drive according to the music they made. examples, bassment jaxx and mouse on mars drove a metallic spaceship with flashing multi colored lights from the underbelly and a bumper sticker that says 'daft punk is playing in my spaceship'. and then people like devandra banhart and joanna newsom would drive a horse and buggy with a collage of handkerchiefs sewn together to make the canvas and a couple white rabbits in the back with a big wooden box full of herbal teas and other...various things. okay, fun and innocent enough right? damn right RIGHT! this girl is actually a writer for the voice too, i just didn't know until she finally said something about how horrible of a person i am. it couldn't have been that bad of a piece though. after all, i did win best lede of the month and recieved a 10 dollar gift certificate to starbucks, i'm gett'in loaded!!

...drama below

"in a perfect world, someone as old as Brad Detherage would be more in tocuh with reality. Detherage tells readers in last week's Voice that life would easy if everything a person owned and did reflected who they were. Of course. But in REAL life, it's not that simple. Executives ride bicycles. metalheads listen to classical music, and driving a beat-up, rusty car could have everything or nothing to do with what type of music one listens to. I don't know about other Voice readers, but i don't care for the thought of being defined by what toothpaste i buy or what car i drive (old Saturns with peeling paint and broken power locks signify what?).
If Detherage's wish were true, then surely he would be OK with my defining him as arrogant because of what he does: categorize people by the clothes they wear, the music they listen to and the vehicles they drive. In his version of a perfect world, everything a person did or owned would reflect on them. In mine, I wouldn't have read a column that was so conceited."
Elizabeth Eberlin
Senior, Illinois Governmental Internship Program, Springfield

heh hah heh. but, i wasn't that crushed. i saw her at the meeting that night it came out, she had a weezer shirt on, cunt.

Runaway Points

2005-10-20T18:55:00.000-05:00

i notice a lot when i blog something, that it never comes out the way i plan it to, i mean it's not what i wanted to say, or that i think i could be a better blogger, or i am a better blogger, no no what i'm trying to say is that i could be more...here's an update on brad life

saw the decemberists and cass mccombs for the second time this past sunday at mississippi nights, felt like a basement party.

in the next couple days i am signing up for an online creative writing class through WingHill something something. i just need another 52 bucks.

my birthday is next tuesday. when you are ready to mail me your gift and/or money, send me an e-mail and i'll tell you my address.

gearing up for a bright eyes/CoMo weekend, or well close to a weekend.

bought franz ferdinand's newbie and sufjan stevens illinoise album, sufjan stevens john wayne gacy jr. is good and ferdinand's album is shear awesome, minus 2 tracks or so though, but yeah!

oh shit, i got my first hate letter for something i wrote in the voice, i 'll post it up at a later date.

well, we just got HBO and you know i gotta OBTherrr!!

Ohhh Make The Comments Stop!!!

2005-10-16T15:27:00.000-05:00

it just got too ridiculous for me to allow it to continue.

28!!

it wasn't even a good post.

28!!

most were spammers anyway.

28!!

a sandra bullock movie about rehab.

28!!

number of times a slut christian loses her virginity before getting married.

28!!

ridiculous.

Decision. Hair. Mahjongg.

2005-10-01T15:02:00.000-05:00

i've decided to soon cut my hair into a mahjongg mohawk. i think i will do it when i head to columbia in november. i recently got it cut pretty fucking short (short: chris ray's penis) and it was done rather quickly too (quick: mr. hollywood having sex). i had to, or i ran the possibility of losing my bus boy job, and i hold that occupation very dear to my heart. and this time around, my mohawk will actually resemble something close to a mohawk, i don't want another repeat of jon's 2004 christmas party...

Sweet Relaxation of Unconsciousness

2005-10-01T10:58:00.000-05:00

This is god damn hailairous, either it's the inspiration for family guy, i sick obession with family guy, or the result of some vast amounts of free time and uncanny skills with photoshop

Franz, Bright Eyes, Spoon, Oh Dear!!

2005-09-27T23:35:00.000-05:00

first off, the franz show was pretty respectable, got to sample some of their new stuff which i had previous not heard, and i was delighted to say the least, those hunks are back with newer unshitty stuff.

ran into aaron and baby-destroyer-clark and they told me to come to the hold steady show and i said no and in turn am now going to CoMo for the spoon show, sleeping, partying like a bandit, and then going to see bright eyes (second row, dead center) and then coming home and working, blah...but the rock shows shall be destiny for a swell time.

oh, and i'm suppose to be going to mississippi nights for a decemberists show, if tickets are still left i'll go but i'm not putting the event any higher on my list than i put the average HaloFest, so there.

and for now, i watch family guy's untold story, stewie's point of view...

OMG!!!x

2005-09-18T02:27:00.000-05:00

i just posted three new blog post in under 5 minutes! which is amazing considering i usually average a post every 5 years...or so?!? AND HOW!!!

OMG!!

2005-09-18T02:25:00.000-05:00

chris ray (austin's brother) just gave mr. johnson a hickey on his "elbow", his "private elbow"...

Blogging High Life

2005-09-18T02:19:00.000-05:00

Hollywood is tearing up now because i smacked his cheek when he called me a girl for having an online journal.

now we are listening to a little "flight of the conchords" because we're horny WE'RE HORNY!!!

chris move YOUR damn chair!!

and then jesus crunked all of his children he had been masterbating all night...

Hot Tubs and Cock Rings

2005-09-11T21:14:00.000-05:00

it's when you're really bored that the interesting things start to happen, agree? well it was saturday night, i'd just gotten off work around 830. went into raymond and changed the strings on my guitar in ye ole raymond shell shoppe. it got around 10 o' clock and i called cory (Mr. Hollywood) and he was a hot tub party in waggoner, i told him, "i may come out". hopped in my car and rolled out to some mouse on mars and soon decided to stop by the party on the way home.

i walk in to find a very intoxicated Hollywood struggling to fix a screen door that a very intoxicated Nate Hitchings had walked into/through minutes earlier. i wasn't sure if i should stay, no girls and i had to be back at work at 8 AM. then Jon said, there's about 50 beers in the fridge, i offered i expertise in disposing of it. 2 AM rolls around and this guy Stu from girard shows up, he seemed nice, in a freaky sort of way. Nate and I are sitting in the hot tub enjoying warm beer from a plastic cup when he walks out naked (i mean, that's no big deal, Hollywood's been naked for a good two and a half hours now, but that fact he didn't know any of us and that he was really drunk), then he strikes a pose and says, "where's the beer at?", i eyes fixiated on his penis, i didn't hear a word he said, things are silent and becoming slightly awkward, then nate saves it by practically burping out "the garage". he walks off and i look at nate, "did he have a cock ring?", not only did he have one cock-ring but he had five total piercings on his cock and scrotum.

sorry that took so long, it was my first encounter with the cock-stud kind.

I Bet You've Seen This Guy

2005-09-02T02:29:00.000-05:00

i was just at the denny's in litchfield. in there, it was only me and one other table. At this other table was a man with spikey black and red hair, red sunglasses (it was about 1 AM) with cute little sparkly stones on them, tight dirty jeans, a leather belt with more cute sparkly stones, and a tight grey/red/black sleeves shirt, so he could sport his scrawny "fuck society" arms, along with his rail thin structure. he was smoking more than cheech and/or chong, and sounded sad and suicidal. which, kinda made sense when the waitress walked about and he stopped her and asked he, i quote, "do you have like a really sharp knife so i can kill myself?" the waitress said no and shook her head very apologeticlly, like she was thinking, "i wish i did a fucking knife for this guy, he really needs the damn thing!" when i walked out to go to my car post-denny's meal, i saw a dusty silver ford focus with goth something on the license plate, too perfect!

also, a side note, on these little windows that seperate the dining booths from the kitchen, are white designs with two crosses drawn into each one. is denny's a religious chain, i mean they don't say god bless you when i leave like salvation armies do, but maybe it's a 'don't ask don't tell' kinda deal. i don't know, if you have any insight on this, please let me.

Avril's Grown Sweet and Pretty

2005-08-31T23:37:00.000-05:00

i just watched Avril Lavinge play a song on Leno and and and...she's all pretty and happy, i mean, those scars are her wrists are really healing up nicely. Her hair was blonde and she hade on these $50 stonewashed gap jeans on without a single hole and a black tanktop, the chuck taylors of course. but, she didn't seem interested in the fact that she was on a stage singing a song. she seemed like the only thing on her mind was, "i hope nobody mistakes me for that melinda slut on the real world." in fact, the only element that seemed to still be hanging around from her old canadian-punkish self was these cute little red devil horns sprinkled with sliver sparkles, i'm sure you can pick up a knock off pair at target.

on a more boring note, school, god damn, i read 18 or so pages worth of stuff concerning the lifestyles and literture of the puritans and the southerners of the 16th century, ask me anything, i'll either know it or know exactly where to find it...

Lately, I've Been Getting Back To Musicing

2005-08-18T00:28:00.000-05:00

yeah so, my guitar should arrive at my door in the next couple days, spankers! epiphone acoustic/electric, also ordered some martin string and picks and a strap. i've been going to the shell in raymond constantly and playing darren's guitar (another certified shell station employee) a lot. he's got a fender acoustic, it's nice, yeah...

sometime in the near future, darren and i are gonna try to record a song i came up with that is strictly beat-boxing, jambe, and bass guitar. i'll supply the spits, he'll supply everything else.

ordered a bright eyes ticket today for the pageant. it's an unadvertised show but i'm on the pageant's mailing list so i got a notice this morning and within ten minutes of reading it, my ticket was marked and waiting to be printed and shipping straight to my hands. tickets for franz ferdinand w/ pretty girls make graves and cut copy go on sale friday for the pageant, probably order my ticket no later than sunday morning for that. when i went into work to schedule these days off i got 34 bucks from matt west (another certified holiday inn employee) to order his bright eyes ticket, and tomorrow night at the holiday inn employee party (...well, it's in one of the guy's crampt basements with loud nosiy rockbands and free flowing keg beer) matt is gonna gimme the cash to order his franz tix too. i think this girl that i write with for sj-r is gonna go to bright eyes with us too.

uhhhh...i gotta go check on zues the kat, i think his nose is warm and he is sleeping too much...

A Rock Story

2005-08-13T03:40:00.000-05:00

this is the first story i've done for the sj-r in awhile, awhile since my film went under. okay, well, it's primarily over this music festival this band in mason city started earlier this year, but i talk about the band and a couple other ones that will be performing in the festival as well. this is the revised version, the version after my editor sends it back with shit ton of questions, but, it's all for the better. it's either going to run in the regular section i write for, THE VOICE, or the arts and entertainment section of the paper. i'm not sure yet, either the 16th or 18th. right, well, here...

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METAL THRASHERS RULE THE WORLD IN MASON CITY

Breakout Info:
What: MetalFest, featuring Murder Theory, Justify the Mean, Non Thought, Scarlet Whore, Shatter Mask and Advocate
When: 4:30 p.m. to midnight Aug. 19
Where: 100 block of North Main Street IN THE STREET, Mason City
Tickets: $6, available at the gate
The Mason City Civic Center will sell chips, soda, candy and other foods. The merchandise booth will be selling items from each band along with MetalFest tees.

By BRAD DETHERAGE
VOICE CORRESPONDENT

If you plan on attending MetalFest, there are a few things you need to expect while at the event. First, let’s talk safety. Thick heatwaves are a possibility so drink lots of water and the use of sunscreen is something to consider. Also, if you treasure your ears, stick cotton in them, or any standard earplug would also do the job. Okay, now that the health issues are out of the way, you need to brush up on your head rock a bit before attending, not a complete 30 lesson seminar, just give your technique a little shine, because there will be lots of hardcore ‘metal people’ there making sure everyone is shaking the hair. Expect a crowd, the first MetalFest was big, say 300 people big, and this one has been promoted like mad-crazy compared to the last, so setting up places and times to meet with your buddies would be keen. Don’t expect national stars, instead, look forward to seeing local talent on the rise, local talent like the band that started MetalFest, like the vocal chord strangling, eardrum destroying, coronary causing Advocate! (I thought it’d be fun to enlarge the size of the text with each description to show excitement, heh, can we print it like this? Please please please please please please please…)
Advocate has been together since the spring of 2004. “MetalFest is to raise money for the Civic Center,” Advocate’s manager Misty Bowersock explaining the original reason MetalFest was created. The Mason City Civic Center is where Advocate books shows every Friday night and sometimes rocks that house themselves. Another reason though they started MetalFest was to open some people up to the talent that lives right inside their own towns.

If Alex Hull had to put the sound of his Mason City based metal band Advocate, into words, he’d describe it as, “Haste of Day, Norma Jean and Mudvayne thrown into a blender.”
Advocate is a heavy metal band. Heavy, meaning its music is loud and oftentimes quickly paced. Metal, meaning the vocals are screamed, not sung, and the guitars are power chords, not dwindling strings. The band members say they prefer the new age metal over old-age metal — the metal with hair that is.
The band consists of vocalist JJ Blankenship; guitarist Sean Deener; drummer Alex Hull; and bassist Logan Ramos.
All are 15 years old and heading into their sophomore year of high school. JJ, Sean and Alex will attend Illinois Central in Mason City, while Logan gets his knowledge from Greenview.
This summer, Advocate wrapped up recording its demo CD. They have been taking their demo around to numerous radio stations, trying to get airtime. Their efforts paid off when 92.7 WQLZ gave a song of theirs a spin on the airwaves. earlier this summer, which was a pretty accomplishing moment for the group.

MetalFest is a music festival with a lineup of six heavy metal (there’s that genre again) bands in Mason City.
The first MetalFest happened this year, June 3. Advocate expected the event to showcase only two bands but manifested into the size of six bands, nearly seven hours of sock rocking metal music. The reason for the size increase was mostly due to word of mouth from one band to another.
The second MetalFest on Aug. 19 is expected to, draw a much larger crowd than the year before, which brought out about 300 people.
A couple steps that have been taken to ensure the growth spurt are the addition of two new bands and pumped-up promotional gigs.
A sign that the festival is going to be a potential blow out, according to Advocate manager Misty Bowersock, is the fact that it took a lot longer time to get permission by the city this go around.
MetalFest is going to showcase bands that normally you would have to be 21 to see. And you can expect the shows to be highly impressive since the bands are looking forward to a larger crowd this time around, especially Advocate. “They’re stage show has been perfected, they are really into what they’re doing,” comment Bowersock.
At the festival you get six bands for $6 for all ages in an alcohol-free environment.
Plus, surprises are bound to happen, like last MetalFest when one of the bands switched things up and covered a Britney Spears song.
Funds brought in by the festival’s ticket sales will be donated to the Mason City Civic center. The band has spent much of their summer in that building, whether they are performing, watching performers, or booking other performers.
Aside from Advocate playing at MetalFest, two of the other bands that will be there are Shatter Mask and Non Thought, both of the heavy metal persuasion, yet neither too metal to take some time and answer a few questions.

Steve Poe of Non Thought
Lives in: Springfield
Making music for: Four years
Band’s sound: “The experimental side of heavy metal.”
Influenced by: “Everything from Tori Amos to Slayer.”
Doesn’t like 50 Cent because: “He’s a negative influence.”
Keeps up on metal via: “Internet, search my media player for band names I haven’t heard of.”
Wishes for: “We are looking to get signed.”
Spent the summer: “Working on press kits and recording our second full-length.”
How do you feel towards country music?: “We think our tractor’s sexy.”
Define metal thrash music: “Live guitars, in your face music, that’s why marshal makes guitars that go up to 11.”

“Tech” of Shatter Mask
Lives in: St. Louis
Making music for: Five years
Band’s sound: “New, fresh, high energy, extreme visual.”
Influenced by: “Mudvayne and System of a Down. We aren’t influenced by them, just gives us the drive.”
Doesn’t like 50 Cent because: “I do like 50 Cent.” Keeps up on metal via: “We try not to keep up on music, we are keeping up on ourselves. You got to play what you feel, whether it’s punk, metal or rock, we don’t care.”
Wishes for: “Promoters, that would be the best thing. That and investors.”
Why teens should go to MetalFest: “Where else are you gonna see that many good bands for that price? In Illinois, it’s hard to find an all ages show.”

Brad Detherage will be a junior at Lincolnwood High School.

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damn, i gotta be at work in 4 hours, i should at least pretend to sleep right? ha, time to watch the fresh prince and/or cosby!

Metal Thrashers Rule This Nation

2005-08-04T16:52:00.000-05:00

i can't seem to find much local music that isn't death screams and power chords over and over and over again.

speaking of which here are the name of a few bands that do just that
non thought
shatter mask
justify the means
murder theory
scarlett whore
advocate

also, i'm interviewing all those bands on saturday. think i'll ask them about their favorite beach boys album.

Uhh Hem...

2005-08-03T18:53:00.000-05:00

car salesman and repair never fail to impress me. i had the subaru serviced the other day for various things, mainly the death shake that happens when i excel over 60 or so. the guy told me that my rear tires were "cupping". i instantly went to cup his nuts, then stopped myself and realized this wasn't a party with mr. hollywood or chris ray. "cupping" is when your tires don't evenly touch the ground. he also said that my "rods" ( i know i know, stop giggling) needed to be "turned" (okay, three times is worth a giggle). but the majority of the problem was the tires cupping. so he turned my rods and made an appointment for us to come in later about the "cupping". whatever, i mean his name is cute i guess, "rapid randy".

also, newsflash, at wal-marts, you must be 17 years of age or older to purchase a can of air, you know the kind you huff and get high and then die. luckily radioshack doesn't care about our health and sold it to me quick snap.

i recently added a tip jar next to my futon for respectable people to show their gratitude. now i need some customers *sigh*.

God Damn I Am So Dirty

2005-08-03T12:45:00.000-05:00

...god damn.

So I Totally Ripped This Idea Off From Austin. Don't Be Angry.

2005-08-03T00:58:00.000-05:00

this is an IM conversation that took place between me and another writer for the voice, emily carlson.

bradisdetherage: word!!
cheeryo128: well playa, you've got a long way to go before you can say that w/ o me making fun of you! haha!
bradisdetherage: WORD!!! I SAID WORD!!!! WORD!!!!
cheeryo128: psh! haha!
bradisdetherage: annasophia really came through on the clown wig hand off tonight...sheesh
cheeryo128: ahha, she forgot didn't she
bradisdetherage: she didn't even come
bradisdetherage: its okay, i'll buy one, then return it next week. does that make me a horrible person???
cheeryo128: haha yes
cheeryo128: but i'll still talk to you
bradisdetherage: oh well...
bradisdetherage: thats so sweet
cheeryo128: what can I say...haha
bradisdetherage: so what is like on the east side at 10 on a friday night anyway???bradisdetherage: it cant be that bad
cheeryo128: actually, I'm pretty sure there's alot of rape, some shootings and couple kidnappings, I'd be careful
cheeryo128: ...totally kidding
bradisdetherage: hahaha(nervous laughter slowly turns into crying)
cheeryo128: HAHA!
cheeryo128: [laughter staying as laughter]
bradisdetherage: (laughing turn into louder and overall better and cooler laughing than emily's)bradisdetherage: WORD!!!
cheeryo128: [stops laughing and procedes to give brad a dirty look for saying word]
cheeryo128: [stops speaking actions in brackets]
bradisdetherage: heh
cheeryo128: haha!
bradisdetherage: sorry about the word, WORD!!!, i'm still listening to that fiddy record
cheeryo128: Niiice
bradisdetherage: yeah so when i called the guy from the elements he started calling me nigger a lot, but in a friendly kind of way.
bradisdetherage: finally, i'm someone's nigger
cheeryo128: I wouldn't get too used to it ace
cheeryo128: jurry's still out on that one
bradisdetherage: WORD!!!!

He Offered Me A Joint, Then Told Me He Didn't Have A Knife. What Hobo Does't Go Through That Tired Routine?

2005-07-30T05:00:00.000-05:00

i met BOB tonight. BOB is a middle aged drunk hobo that has been hanging around the abandon gas station outside of raymond. i didn't know of bob's presence this evening so i unwittingly sat there in my car around midnight waiting for chris to come so we could go get some denny's. through the acoustic sounds of jack johnson in my subaru, i hear foot steps. that's a little out of place for being in the middle of nowhere. i was instantly frightened. i looked behind and saw a man stumbling towards me. he walks up to my door, pulls out his half empty vodka flask and declares, "This is all i got left, bud!" i reply very nervously, studdering to a degree, "Well that's more than enough!" bob counters, "I know it is, hah!" Then we exchange names after i inform him he scared the shit out of me. he apologizes and kindly offers to make it up to me by asking me to smoke a joint with him, as he pulls it out and shows it to me. i quietly refused. he said i was a young buck and that all young bucks like getting stoned, he asked what was wrong with me. i said i just don't do that and then offered him a cigarette to try and change the conversation. it worked, he told me about his trouble with the "law dogs" and how they are assholes. i agreed with him for the moment. then he started to hear the low playing music in my car and started singing a song. he said it was by don mclean. i said, oh yeah he did american pie. bob sings, "bye bye miss american pie". then i sing a line, "drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry". then we both continued in the most awkward, scary ass harmony of my life, "them good old boys they drinking whiskey and rye, SINGING THIS WILL BE THE DAY THAT I DIE!! THIS WILL BE THE DAY THAT I DIE!!!". that last line really made me uneasy. and during our third go around with the song, i looked up at the sky and suddenly realized, i'm sitting hear at an abandon gas station at midnight on a friday night, singing don mclean with a drunken hobo, damn if my life isn't random sometimes.

let's see, sometimes bob would get angry, like if i said something he didn't understand. he would yell and correct me, well, by his standards correct me. he told me about how he was throwing rocks at other cars that had pulled up, saying as he stomped his black military boot (where the knife was hidden...more than likely), " i gotta protect my turf, brad!" those cars would just speed off. he wasn't lying either, there was some small boulders out in the road from when he'd been protecting some turf. then he told me about this woman that had gotten out and "squatted" to pee, said he watched her for a while then barked at her and they just a took off faster than anything.

lots of hobos have different means of travel, this is how bob said he did it. bob says to me, " hey brad, brad, you know how i got from springfield, MO to here in one day? (bob screams this quick one second noise while he covers his mouth)" no shit, he asked me a question and then answered it with some inaudible screaming. i guess it worked.

so then chris finally gets there, i say farewell to bob and get in with chris, and yell GO GO GO!!!. we leave, and we get to dennys, i call 911 and have some 'law dogs' go talk to the man cause i'm pretty fucking scared to go back and get my car. the cops go, they talk to the man. chris and i drive back by later and nothing seems to be happening. i leave my car there and go to chris, i call 911 again and see if the man was taken away. the man is still there, the law dogs let him be. i decide it's a bad idea to go back since he told me how much he hates law dogs and i just sicked a few on him. then i started worrying about my car hoping he didn't throwing any stones at it or anything. i call my mom at 4 am and let her know whats going on, she said she's coming to get me. in 30 minutes she pulls in the drive way with brother bryan right behind her in my subaru. we head home.

BOB, if you can read, i'm sorry about the law dogs, you just scare me, that's all.

I Don't Recall My Pants Ever Shrinking That Tightly

2005-07-19T22:04:00.000-05:00

So yeah, intonation was a major boner. Of all the bands there, I got in the massive crowds of people and near the stage for six of them, three on each day.

DAY ONE - TIRED BUT READY FOR ROCK

AC NEWMAN
first show I saw was AC NEWMAN, very suitable starter I thought. Funny thing, they first played ON THE TABLE, and then when they finished that, Newman realized his guitar was out of tune, and then he complained a bit, tuned his guitar, and then they played their first song, ON THE TABLE...For the first time.

THE GO! TEAM
this is where my pants cut of circulation the most. The crowd was amped, my balls were sweaty, and my head started to bobbing before anyone was even on stage. In the minutes prior to the start of the show, Chris and I were exchanging words with the girl from Ohio, who said that she drove 8 hours for this soon to begin one hour orgasam, pants shrunk again. Then the show starts and instant hysteria ensues. We're jumping, we're screaming, I think that's called rocking? Then later on the singer, hot little black British woman, I think her name is silke, started pointing at people in the crowd, those people would dance, and then she would mock that dance on stage. She pointed at "orgasms Girl" and pointed at me. I'd have to say she did my dance little justice though.

DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979
now, there was some complication here. I thought these guys were playing on a different stage than what they actually did, so I wasn't very close for this one. But then I say all the metal freaks up front tossing each other around like rag dolls and then thanked my stars. But, even though I was a little far back, I still got rocked harder than the limb in my pants during THE GO! TEAM. It took them awhile to get stuff set up, and then the drummer took his shirt off, girls cried with horniness and some guys quietly moaned, just quiet enough so their fag basher friends wouldn't be the wiser, I'll admit, he was hot, but not Johnny depp hot. Then the guitarist stomped over to a 4 feet amp, kissed it with his guitar, and quickly you realized the destruction had begun and death had began to rain down from above on all of us. It was C-R-A-Z-Y, CRAZY!! The hardest rock I've liked since my metallica/korn phase in 5th grade.

END OF DAY ONE FADING INTO BEGINNING OF DAY TWO

after DFA, Chris and I headed over to a taco bell/KFC conglomerate and got some tacos. Which by the way, Chris, for some reason, fell down on the sidewalk as we were walking into the door. Were you too drunk with rock to walk, Chris??? What's up with that??? So then we walked back to the hotel, ordered a pizza, each had our share of miller lites courtesy of my of age brother. Then they order shaun of the dead on the TV, and I went to sleep on a next I made of pillows, dirty towels, and a seat cushion in the corner by the vent.

DAY TWO - WELL RESTED AND WELL FED

XIU XIU
very good, very emotional, very loud at times. They didn't play I LUV THE VALLEY or FABULOUS MUSCLES, but they did play some older stuff I didn't know well but, I listened to it, and I liked it. I mean I was standing in the banging sun for an hour just to wait for the show, so they put it out there for me, it was a pill and I had to take it.

THE HOLD STEADY
I talked to a guy before this show when I was standing there waiting for the mustached man in a pin stripe suit to come arm the keyboards, and this guy was talking about how he liked the hold steady a lot, and I said I did too, he said where he was from and what he did the night before, I said where I was from and then an onslaught on cheers bellowed from the mouths of everyone within 200 feet of me. Alas, the mustache had taken the stage and great things were about to happen. They did, they rocked, they were funny, then they left. I was left with a feeling of being used like, they rocked me so hard for so long and don't even have the decency to at least hold me steady the rest of the night...NYC bastards!!

after the hold steady show I went and looked for everyone, couldn't find anyone, I guess Chris slowly disappeared during the show or something, so I bought a funnel cake and layed on the grass, ate cake, drank soda, smoked a cigarette, looked of pictures on the camera. Then I got up and walked around, found Chris, then we layed on the grass for a while, ended up falling asleep, my pillow was an intonation shirt I had bought for 15 dollars, Chris was a star trek shirt he had bought for 4 dollars that he could of easily stolen. Then we awoke and drank water, then got up, brushed ourselves off, and started walking to the decimal stage where the last show was guaranteed to be a pleaser.

THE DECEMBERISTS
Chris and I had quite the group going in the crowd for this one. Some Indian and a bearded, some guys smoking pot next to us, which our Indian friend had pointed out, Chris took a picture of the pot smokers, then we took a picture and of me, Chris, and Indian. Then three people behind us, one of them I thought looked like a tall version of Aaron Richter, and the other was some cute girl and the other was some short, chubby, dress in a pink dress girl, she was fun. And then I meet this old guy next to me, probably near 55 I'd say, nice guy. We talked, we rejoiced, we exchanged fluids. The decemberists came out, opened with my prediction, THE INFANTA. The U and E in the sky's blue quickly formed an ACK and became BLACK, for all you kids out there who can't spell, and the stage lights were becoming more and more noticeable. Song after song, the neck was whiplashing and my legs and hopping, and the stomach wasn't moving...uhhh, Chris was singing every song as loud as possible to punish these two girls who had butted between us and then simply gone no farther. colin meloy managed to get the thousands of us in the crowd all down on our knees, as were the other band members, and then he announed, "SSHHH, THEY'RE SLEEPING." after a short nap, a line was belted on the microphone and multiple instruments exploded at the same time, and the crowd flew to a standing position. After the stage was left empty, the air was engulfed with screams of things like , "MORE MORE" and "THE TAIN THE TAIN!!!", well, colin played RED RIGHT ANKLE solo and then they all gifted us with THE MARINER"S REVENGE SONG, during which the whole mass of people were told to scream as loud as possible, as if we were being eaten by a giant whale, I don;t think any of us had ever been within close quarters of a whale before, but I don't think you would notice the difference in yelling techniques. Once again, the stage was left empty, and the park was left by it's lonesome as well.

Chris and I troddled to the car discussing how we might get stabbed and Chris said he always thought he'd die alone in the city, whatever. Then we made it to the car and Blake was sitting there waiting for us. We drove for about 45 minutes to Joliet, ate at a steak n' shake where we were waited on by JAMES, half British, half smart ass, completely entertaining and worth hitting on, Chris made the first move, fucker. So then I fell into the drivers seat and Blake stripped himself in the back and fell asleep. Chris stayed up the entire ride home except for the last ten minutes. Then we rolled into the driveway around 3 AM Monday morning, Chris thanked us for the sex and left like he always does, smiling and buttoning his pants. Blake got in the shower and unloading the escort and then closed my eyes and forgot to reflect on a weekend well rawked!!

pictures coming soon

Beaten Down By Gorillaz

2005-07-11T04:01:00.000-05:00

this is what i looked like post my first listen to the gorillaz new 'demon days' album, minus the iraqi descent. if you don't own the album i highly recommend it to any hip hop and/or dance music fans. if you like m.i.a. or anything relatively close to that, i think you'll dig 'demon days'. i'm not even that big of an m.i.a. fan, i mean sure i'd look at her naked and probably touch my self while doing so, but i wouldn't be the quickest to jump at a free m.i.a. album, now, where did my point go? oh yes, i'm not a huge m.i.a. fan but gorillaz lifted me from my sinking bright eyes stint. so, buy the album, listen to kids with guns, O green world, dirty harry, feel good inc., every planet we reach is dead, dare, and fire coming out of the monkey's head three times. Then, try to compose yourself enough and clean the blood from your head and come to me and say that you had not just freaked out a category 8. TRY IT YOU POOR GORILLAZ-LESS BASTARD, FUCKING TRY IT!!!!

Songs Worth Crying Over

2005-07-07T04:36:00.000-05:00

i want everyone's help on this post. i am in search of the saddest song ever recorded. leave your contributions in the comments section. i don't mean sad like pathedic 'the whole career of william hung' sad where he was just taken advantage of, i mean sad like some real hardcore heavy hearted shit you know, songs worth crying over. right now i only have a few that i can think of.

1) Bright Eyes - Landlocked Blues
yeah, like when he says "if you love something, give it away". what a sobbing bitch.
2) Badly Drawn Boy - The Shining
fuck everyone in my electronic journalism class that said this song would of never worked
in the senior video, then again, for that class, they were probably right.
3) Radiohead - Creep
always jerks a tear outta me if i just got dumped or something.
4) The Shins - Pink Bullets
i never really got too upset when listening to this song until i saw this video some guy had
made for it with a weeping cow singing the whole thing in his lonely, stinky, cowpin. if i
knew where it was i'd link you to it

well, those are my picks, whaddaurs?!?

Stop the Suck, Start the Rawk!!!

2005-07-07T03:09:00.000-05:00

hopefully i'll have it ordered in a month or less, a mixer board that is. chris ray, justin johnson, and i plan to start our own little rock outfit in the cornor of this local music scene that seems to be growing but, not progressing. well, for me it all started a few nights ago, july fourth, at the raymond fourth celebration thingy. i was sitting on the bleachers with my good pal nathan hitchings watching the 'tempest reign' show. two guys from my class and two girls from the senior class of last year formed this group about a year ago or so and have sucked in my opinion ever since, well, not sucked talent wise, just music wise. i always said, "i hate their music but, i'm glad they're making it." so i was sitting there thinking, damn, i should start something and get on that stage next year and make the raymond folk feel very uncomfortable, so electronic rawk seemed like the best idea. mind you that showing up tempest reign isn't my only reason for starting this project, i've been wanting to put creative force into something musical for a long time now and guitar wasn't working for me. i got some ideas now and expansion on them is the next step. whenever chris, justin, and i can meet and smash heads on this we'll make some head way and then can start making something worth being uncomfortable about. further information on this will be blogged in future post, stay in constant check for that...

Fuck Your Music, Wrap Yourself In This Shit!!

2005-07-05T21:33:00.000-05:00

okay, i know that is the wrong approach to take when converting someone to a better taste in music, but it's gotta be working some. I've turned rob onto tom waits, darren onto the beta band, matt onto bright eyes (hopefully), mr. essex onto multiple things like q and not u, the rapture, and a lil mouse on mars but hardly. essex's license plate on his car is 'ska guy' though, so i view him as a lost soul with little future. turned justin onto a little ratatat oh and i got a little TVOTR interest spark into rob too. still haven't sold much mahjongg though.

DAMN THIS BETA BAND KICKS ASS!! WHY HAVE I NEGLECTED IT FOR SO LONG??

i have also been turned onto a few new choices myself, darren turned me onto some of his stuff and a band called orange punch warfare. uhhh, rob burned me primus, sausage, butthole surfers, and the revolting cocks, still yet to listen to those ones.

farted

i don't really have much to blog about right now but, have nothing better to do. lemme see what i can scrap up around the edges of my brain

scrap-a-rooney

my film won't be finished in time to be a subbmission to the route 66 festival but will still be finished by the end of summer. not a big deal though seeing as how i found a lady in california that said she'd distruibute the film and get it into as many festivals as she can out there, doubtful it will happen but it's worth shooting at. it'll also be on www.studentfilms.com. also, chris and i made a very david lynch like short not too long ago entitled 'The Garage'. after watching lost highway one late evening, we decided to do something about our restlessness and put our energy into creating, for us, what would be the most abstract, mind warping, sexual tantilizing, and even a little part cannibal arousing short we've ever birthed. that also will be put up for looks on studentfilms.com

whoa, i'm tired now, tootles tots.

"If You Walk Away I'll Walk Away" -Conor Oberst

2005-07-03T02:48:00.000-05:00

"if you walk away i'll walk away. first tell me which road you will take. i don't want to risk our paths crossing someday. so you walk that way, i'll walk this way." - Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes from 'Landlocked Blues' off 'I'm Wide Awake It's Morning"

okay, the reason i put that lyric exert at the top of this post is because, well, there are several reasons.

1) i've had that lyric stuck on repeat in my head and occasionally out my lips for the past three days.

2) i just broke up with morgan and even though i'm not in tears or completely distraught over the whole deal, this lyric still fits, she's wanting to find out if this other guy (DUFFY) still likes her and i basically told her she should chase him, besides, it'd be a little weird if i was dating a girl while knowing she still likes an ex, that'd be hard to think around. i'd post a picture of her but i don't want to invade any privacy, so i made this one of her in paintshop to post here in this blog (isn't her hair beautiful?). though i don't really care about risking our paths crossing someday, i still think the lyric works, i mean, i'll probably run into tomorrow anyway, she's a nice girl so i won't avoid her.

3) i've been listening to Bright Eyes non-stop for about a month and a half now and it was only a matter of time until i quoted him for a title of one of my blog post anyway.

4) i'm wide awake and morning isn't far off, normally i'd plan on falling asleep around 5, but i have to be at work at 6 so i firgued i'll just brew some coffee and work through it, i've done it before, i'll just sleep later. Dr. Hunter S. Thompson also suggested that sleep is for the weak.

well, my coffee is done, and i'm sure there is some episode of fresh prince, cosby, roseanne, full house, or something along those lines on tv for the next 2 hours.

Don't Think You Aren't At Risk

2005-07-02T14:21:00.000-05:00

be careful the next time you put in the yeah yeah yeahs 'fever to tell' album. i highly advise you to perform an extensive search for a chris ray before listening to date with the night, cause if one of these chris rays is around, a full fledge near minute long freak out will ensue. i made the mistake not too long ago and all rock broke out during a peaceful camp outing.

Where Have You Been??

2005-07-02T00:22:00.000-05:00

where have you been? what do you mean you've been here the whole time? no, i wasn't the one away, you were! fuck you, you fucking lying bastard! oh wait, i take that all back...

damn, where have i been anyway? well, let's run down the list, shall we? we shall. this is in no particular order mind you.

just not too long ago i was the driver in a two person car accident, yeah the other guy was the bastard and it was all his fault. none the less, my car is totaled, but, more than less, they have to pay for it all. guy ran a yield sign and and and and and SMASH!!! the only four wheels i had ever grown to love riding suddenly become beaten down and immobile at the cornor of elevator and cedartop.

filming is underway on (currently but not permanately titled) '1400 Fortunes', my short film that was orignally going to be submitted to the route 66 film festival in springfield, but due to the accident, won't be finished in time for that particular festival, but will still be finished and offered to other festivals and posted on several websites. keep you eyes peeled for it.

mmm, meet a girl, her name is morgan, she's nice. mmm, pretty and stuff. makes me feel warm and snuggle like in my tummy, heh, tickle tickle, aaaahhhhhhhhh...

got a job, working at the holiday inn soon to be the best western at the carlinville exit along i-fiddy five. 6.50 an our plus some tips on the side, paycheck every tuesday, BOUNCE!! and everybody there gets high, everybody. i've only worked there for four days and already seen two drug deals at the break table. what a great place for employment. plus the benefits, it's not health care or anything but, 50% off everything on the menu, free drinks, plenty of lesiure time, and discounts on hotel rooms at any holiday inns in the US.

uhh, going to the music fest in chicago july 16 and 17 in chicago with brother blake and some other dude dubbed christopher ray, you should see his hair, i think he's jewish. whatever, at least we will be splitting the hotel room three ways now. kick-ass. go to www.intonationmusicfest.com to rock more.

shit, that's it really. i have been writing for the voice because i've been doing the film thing, but i should be writing again in a month or less, i already got my next story lined up. plus, my editor has me doing all the marketing for this award she wants to give out, so i get to go to radio stations and possible tv stations to spit on the mic about how lame kids could be cool if they were to enter but not nessacarily win this award. that'll be fun.

Ugh...Fucking Assholes

2005-05-08T00:07:00.000-05:00

"i got no pick up lines, i stay on the grind, i tell them hoes all the time Bitch Get In My Car"

why am i blaring 50 Cent through my headphones???

bad days suck, bad nights are worse. at least this 50 record can take me away. weird. this music that is. okay, i'm going go to gripe some shit for a bit.

first off, my classmates are fucking ignorant. racist bastards. they say well 80% of inmates are all blacks. fucking shut up. so what, 100% of racist people at my school are fucking morons. what are they trying to make a point of? majorities are worth hating? so if i run into a black person that's a father of three, a husband, and the owner of a local successful flower shop and i'm suppose to say to them, "i heard about this black person that went to jail, so you're a fucking punk." no no, i'd rather walk up to a trans am driving, van halen loving, blonde mullet sporting, alabama living white guy and say, "i knew this kid in highschool that hated people for bad reasons." then kick the guy in his genocide supporting cock.

the guy that's going to play the city clown in my film got in a car crash early this morning. he's okay thought, i took him a plastic one dollar flower. he's a really inspiring person though. ever seen good will hunting? he's matt damon. literally, watch the movie and then imagine my clown being matt damon.

emily keeps IMing me, i'll be back at a later date...

My Travels Revel Many Discomforts

2005-04-28T22:50:00.000-05:00

you know whenever you click on the hyperlinks that are the things in your bio for your blog?

example - all the movies i listed under favorite movies are little links to other bloggers with the same movie title in their favorite movies list

well, i've been searching around at other bloggers blogs by clicking on links in my blog and what i found was most uneasy. most of those people are fucking stupid!

that may of been a bit of an overstatement, i know. but this one guy's blog i was reading kept saying in every entry how he can't take it any more and how he wants to end it all once and forever. jesus christ if you're going to come right out and say that you wish for suicide, grant yourself that much justice will you. i mean damn, things get stressful but practically bragging about how you strongly consider (doubtful, attention craver in my opinion) putting a nice size bloody hole in the back of your noggin isn't making things easier for you.

other than those type of people i found others that were completely happy and content with their lives, which enlightens me. i like to see people totally satisfied with all the subjects in their lives. but i just didn't like them, didn't like the way they wrote, didn't like the music they listened to, didn't like the answer to their random question, didn't like how they described themselves, didn't like what movies they watched, didn't like them. not that i hate them, i just disagree with them.

you may say to yourself right about now, shit this guy is a fucking asshole. yeah, i guess i was just being kind of a dickhole. but, i'm just blogging to be blogging right now anyway. its the first thing i thought of. besides, critisimisms make the world go round. do you think if some of the great minds today never got made fun of that they would of had enough motivation to be as successful as they are today. same goes for the great minds of the past.

maybe my comments will inspire someone reading them (once again, doubtful) to be better than they thought they could ever be. maybe now that you've read this blog of mine you will become a great firgue in history. maybe, maybe not, i'm just blogging to be blogging.

I Wanna Be Vegetated

2005-04-23T23:55:00.000-05:00

sometimes i just like to vegetate.

i don't always like to think, once in a while i just want to lay down, watch a screen, and not be forced to apply thought after thought into everything i see. of course, every time i feel that way, there are twenty other occasions i feel the opposite, where i want to be confused and ran around in a circle. times where i desire the kind of film that taunts my mind and mixes me up, leaving me with no choice but the start the movie over and watch it again, stopping and rewatching parts that i don't completely get the just of. nights when i'm wound tightly with brain energy and feel compelled to put that excitement into nothing but a tailspin of a movie.

but sometimes, i just want to vegetate. sometimes, i just want to watch The Burbs. tonight is that sometimes.

Recreating the Stars

2005-04-19T21:04:00.000-05:00

often times, after i watch a really good movie, or not as much a good movie with a really smart, interesting, badass character in it, i tend to fall in alignment with that character for a period of time afterwards.

a good example of this would be nicolas cage in bring out the dead. for about three days after i first watched that one, i started staying up really late and going through my days in a half dazed kind of zombie mode and from time to time come alive and be super energetic in the middle of the night, usually after drinking any where from 4 to 8 cups of black coffee. also, when i watched trainspotting, i started having these feelings of a desperate connection to something and less of a tolerance to basic society, similar to renton's problems with drugs and such. i had this feeling even though i had no neediness of anything or a reason to think less of my community.

these copy cat phases of mine usually last for about three or so days, often times fading out very slowly, or until i watch another movie and find a different character to mock.

Phone Calling Me Something Strange

2005-04-18T21:31:00.000-05:00

another blog, perhaps one of the more pointless ones, was created about forty-five minutes ago when a young boy's older brother phoned him from work and, in a sleepy stupor, explained to that boy how he set up his blog earlier that day as did his other brother. then he began to tiredly slur about seven variations of saying that blogging is just something fun to do and that if he was to create one, the older brother would add the boy to his contacts...forty-five minutes later and here i am.